REAL "STATE '0 MAINER"?
You call four inches of snow "a dusting."
You don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks
elsewhere in the country.
You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of
You knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.
Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing
You've hung out at a gravel pit.
You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old
Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
You've almost fallen asleep
driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.
You know how to pronounce
You've made a meal out of a Jordan's red dye hot-dog, a
of Humpty Dumpty potato
chips and a can of soda.
You've gone to a Grange bean
In high school, you (or a
friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.
At least once in your life, a
seagull pooped on your head.
At least once in your life
you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."
There's a fruit and vegetable
stand within 10 minutes of your house.
You crave "I"talian sandwiches
at least weekly.
All year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the
beach in the summer and the
roads and sidewalks in the winter.
You have to have the sand
cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
You do the majority of your
shopping out of Uncle Henry's.
You've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere
because you thought you saw
some good fiddleheads!
You know a lobster pot is a
trap, not a kettle.
You know not to plant tender
crops until the last full moon in May.
You go to the dump and bring
back more than you brought.
You've watched "Murder she
Wrote" and snickered at the stupid fake accents.
You know how to find the rope
swing at the quarry.
You take the New Hampshire toll personally.
You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in
There's too much "stuff" in
your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
L.L. Bean's not just a
store, it's a way of life.
"The City" means exclusively
"Salt damage" is a viable
All of the traffic lights
blink yellow at 10 o'clock at night.
It's not a storm - it's a Nor'eastah.
"Open 24/7" might as well be
More stores have "Bienvenue!" flags than "Welcome" flags.
You eat ice cream with flavors like "Moose Tracks" and
"Maine Black Bear."
You wouldn't eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam
chowder if you were
a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat,
mittens, scarf and with your
jacket open because it was just a little cool.
The area around your front
door is referred to as "the dooryard."
You call the basement "downcellah."
There is only one shopping
plaza in town..
You use "wicked" as a
multipurpose part of speech
Your pickup has more mud on
it than the ground around it for a 15 foot radius.
More than 1/2 the meat in
your freezer is moose.
You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
If your dog
better than you do, and more often too.
If you never say what you paid for an item but how much
you "give" for it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other
friends from Maine.